House-sitting last weekend and shaving in an unfamiliar bathroom and the light is very different in there than anywhere else I have ever been looking at myself in a mirror... at my apartment there are two little lightbulbs on either side illuminating the front of my face so I see it sculpted in a certain way and generally always perceive myself from that point of view. But in new environs with the skylight overhead and a slightly different angle of sidelighting, the mirror shows to me an entirely new perspective... so while I was shaving away and not paying particular attention I was blown away when suddenly out of nowhere I saw my father's face looking back at me. It was unmistakable.
All other responses aside it has had the most piercingly effective way of removing all otherness from him that I ordinarily use to facilitate blaming / disappointment / regret, which has the effect of making me immediately and solely responsible and accountable.
Who could have foreseen such a simple and elegant clue? I have been for many months involved in an intensive search for a key to unlock my own vast potential and here it was shown to me so clearly how much I hold other people responsible for shortcomings and limitations in my experience.